It’s more fun to take a new path, start something new and exciting, rather than finish what you’ve left undone or in disrepair.  But. . . it is in the rebuilding of the broken where you will be made whole again! ~ Julie Weaver

When you have gone through a catastrophic loss of a Loved One, the grief process can be long, arduous, and confusing.  We (those who are in the midst of navigating the raging waters of grief, and looking for answers) are told things like:  “You must let go of the past and move on!”, “You don’t “move on”, you just learn to move forward.”, “The sooner you can get back to what was “normal” the better.”, “Though you can’t go back, you will learn to create a New Normal.”, “Don’t make any major decisions for the first two years.”, and on and on it goes!  The contradicting advice is enough to drive a sane person to the looney bin, much less a fragile person who is trying to navigate the raging waters of grief.  One thing I am learning by experience is not to give advice to the grieving, or to take advice personally from one who has grieved.   I have learned in the last 14 months that my grief is a PERSONAL JOURNEY unique to me, and me alone. No one else, no matter how similar their situation was to mine, no matter how much they may love and care for me knows what is best for me, or the steps I should take going forward.  I must discover each step along the way, as God reveals them to me in His Perfect Time, as He knows When I am ready to receive it.  That requires learning to trust, and believe in myself again.

I believe it is human nature to gravitate towards the “New, Exciting Beginnings” of anything, rather than the often “Mundane, Grind it Out, Stay the Course” of a thing.  This is evident in the high divorce rate in marriages (latest statistic that 50% of All Marriages end in divorce).  When the marriage gets tough, things aren’t fun anymore, instead of staying the course and making it great again, it’s easier to get out!  And the perpetual “career students” who always need one more degree, (making student loan debt the 2nd highest debt in the American household), because each job they take is not the one to make them happy.  When their job gets tough, it’s not fun anymore, they go back to school to get another degree!  Let’s face it, it’s hard to stay the course when things get tough, require more than you thought they would, or don’t bring the fulfillment you thought they would!  However, in God’s Word He talks a lot about being a “Finisher”:  2 Timothy 4:7-8 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race . . . “, Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion . . .”, Acts 20:24 “my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me . . . ”  Why does God talk so much about Finishing what you start?

After Joe’s death I found myself not wanting to “Do” anything!  I had my own business that I had once loved, but absolutely had no desire to continue.  I had projects I was passionate about, but found they no longer excited me.  I was offered multiple new jobs that sounded good, but for some reason I couldn’t get an “OK quit what you were doing, and start something new” from God!  I wrestled, I prayed, I justified, I did multiple “Pro/Con” lists, I begged, but still I received no answers.  I was left sitting on the fence of indecision, and if you’ve ever sat on a fence, it is one of the most painful and uncomfortable places to sit.  There was a scripture I kept clinging to in Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the left or to the right, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way walk in it”.  I kept thinking “Where are you God?”, “Why don’t you tell me what to do?”, “Why don’t I feel passion to do anything?”.  The Answer came in multiple ways, but I didn’t see it or hear it, because I was looking for something New and Exciting, etc. BEFORE I “TURNED”!  You see the scripture says whether you TURN to the left or to the right. To Turn means to shift or pivot.  You can’t Turn, and keep going in the same direction!   I remained stuck, because I was waiting for a “feeling, a sign” before I made a committed to a course of action, and it doesn’t work that way.  I was “Called” to empower women to create a life by building their own business with Godly Principles, and leading themselves well in order to change the world.  The Calling hadn’t changed, I had!  I didn’t want to go back, I wanted to Move Forward!  Sometimes the Only way to move forward is to go back, and “Finish” what God gave you to start with!

Every time you recall something you didn’t finish in the past, it robs you of your confidence and power in the present!  The great thing about going back to finish what you started so you can move forward is; you’re not locked in to doing it the way you’ve always done it.  You can and should do it differently, because after all you’re not the same person as when you started.  I didn’t have to “make” something happen, I just had to take a step, and TURN my heart, my desires, my fears over to the One who knows me better than I know myself!  I had doubted in the dark what God had told me in the light!  The amazing thing was, as soon as I made the decision to go back and finish what God had Called me to in the first place, THE DESIRE AND THE PASSION FOLLOWED!  You see my friends, the reason God talks so much about “Finishing” is because He knows when we leave things unfinished we will always wonder “What if I had stuck it out?”, and that’s a heavy load to bear.  You can’t move forward carrying a load like that!  No, it won’t be easy.  No, it’s not always going to be fun and exciting. But. . . you won’t ever experience the full Joy, Victory, Growth, or Impact you could have made for the Kingdom of God if you quit when it gets hard!

Thank You Father for Your Patience, and Faithfulness to find me when I’ve gotten lost on my path of following You!  Thank You for giving me Excitement, Joy, and Passion to Finish my Race, and the task you assigned me.