“Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand”. ~ Thomas Carlyle

One of the hardest parts about Life AFTER your Loved One dies, is figuring out what to do next?!  I’m not talking about arranging funeral plans, keeping up with the bills, doing chores around the house, or just going back to work.  I’m talking “What is MY PURPOSE, since I am the one left?”  There’s no Passion for what you used to do, because you’re not that person anymore.  Every plan or vision you had for your future included your Loved One in it.  You’ll Never be the same person you once knew, and truth be told, you’re still trying to figure out who you are now that you’re alone!  The question begs . . . “What do I do with this chapter of my life? How can I Live on Purpose, glorifying my Heavenly Father?  How do I Finish My Race well, when I don’t even feel like I can crawl, much less run to win?”  I don’t know about you, but those are questions that keep me up at night, and nag at me all day long!

Robert Morgan writes “Following God’s will isn’t a matter of unveiling, but unfolding.  The One who knows the faraway future, reveals each close-at-hand step as needed. To go as I am led, to go when I am led, to go where I am led. Take things moment by moment, and when you don’t know what to do, just do what comes next.”

Morning after morning I have searched God’s Word, written in my journal, and cried out in prayer “What Now Lord?”  (that is a much shortened summation of my hour long prayer walks & talks with God)  I walk my dog Harvey just about every day, and as I do – I Pray, Praise, and Listen, but eventually it always comes back to “What Now Lord?”.  This morning as I was walking, I was struck by the stark shadow I was casting before me.  It looked distorted, disfiguring, and shifted with each step I took as I continued walking AWAY from the Sun.  As I kept going step by step on my journey, eventually I rounded a corner, and there was suddenly no more shadows before me.  I was walking directly facing the Sun.  God whispered to my weary spirit – – “You see child when you’re back is to me, because you’re trying to do this on your own strength, you will Always See a Distorted view of You and your future (you’re not enough, you’re all alone, no one could ever love you like Joe did, how will I make it, and what is my purpose now?)  When you are in the Shadows of your life, the Darkest nights of your soul, things will look scary and unsure.  BUT . . . as you keep walking step by step with your FACE TOWARD MY SON – – there will be no more shadows, no distortion, just LOVE!  For I HAVE PROMISED YOU:

“As for you, even the hairs of your head have all been counted” . Matthew 10:30 .  “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come” Proverbs 31:25.  “For we are God’s Masterpiece” Ephesians 2:10.  “God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day” Psalm 46:5.  “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price” 1 Corinthians 6:20 . “See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands”  Isaiah 49:16 . “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you, will make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10.

I still don’t know what my future holds, but I do know Who Holds My Future, and for now that is enough!

Father Thank YOU for reassuring your weary daughter of how much you love me, and that YOU do not change like shifting shadows.  You know every hair on my head, hold every tear I’ve ever cried in a bottle, have my name inscribed on your hands, and have a plan for my future!  Help me to keep my Face to YOU always.  Though I do not know my future, I KNOW that I am not alone.  You walk beside me, You are before me, and You will carry me when I cannot stand on my own.  Thank YOU for your unending Love for me, and that YOU are the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow!  In the future Lord. . . instead of “what now?”; may my prayer always be “To go as I am led, to go When I am led, to go Where I am led.”