“When someone speaks in a whisper, you have to get very close to hear. We lean toward a whisper, and that’s what God wants.” ~ Mark Batterson

I have 8 Grandchildren, and when the family is all together the volume can get pretty loud! It isn’t long before one of my kids will say to theirs “Use your inside voice.” Isn’t it funny how we think when we really want to get our point across, or we are feeling frustrated, upset, or angry that we need to raise our voice to be heard? I can remember so many times after my husband’s death of wanting to scream “Stop!” to the world around me. I couldn’t understand how the world could keep on going when the one I loved most was not in it, and my heart had been crushed.

In this fast paced, media hungry, “keep me entertained”, world that we live in, we have become immune to the “Noise” that drowns out the whispers within our soul. I find it interesting that the only two fears we are born with are that of falling, and of loud sounds. Loud sounds set off our “Acoustic Startle Reflex”. When we hear a loud sound, even if we think we are prepared for it, our immediate instinct is “Flight or Fight”!

When you’re in the middle of gut wrenching grief that is screaming to be heard, what we want to do is fight it (not give into the tears, pretending we are ok, or get angry with others who don’t understand), or flee from it (finding things to distract us from dealing with our feelings by taking another drug, another drink, or starting another project), but what we need to do is to lean into the grief. When I first heard the term – lean into the grief – I didn’t understand. I thought it meant to sit around in a group with other hurting people talking about our “woe to me” feelings, and being an emotional mess all the time. “Um. . . thanks, but no thanks.” What I found, even after 2 1/2 years since Joe’s death, is leaning into my grief means when I hear a song and I’m brought to tears, or a memory is brought to mind and I become depressed, or I find myself agitated for no apparent reason, or I’ve started a million new things, but lack initiative to finish any one thing . . . I recognize it as my soul saying “I Need You To Hear Me!”, like a small child begging to be heard, and you keep putting them off. Unless you take the time to see them, hear them, and truly understand them by giving them the attention they seek, they will find a way to get your attention, and it’s usually not a good outcome for either of you.

The ache in our soul is no different than that of a small child. It needs to be seen, heard, and understood in order to become quiet. Charles Spurgeon said, “You will observe that the desire to commune with God is intensified by the failure of all other sources of consolation.” David wrote in Psalm 62:1-2 “My soul rests quietly only when it looks to God; from him comes my deliverance. ² He alone is my rock, my deliverance, and my high tower; nothing will shake me.”

Thank You Lord for knowing when my soul is screaming to be heard, because I am too scared to listen, You see me, You hear me, and You understand me. May I always be reminded to Lean into Your Whispers!