Life can be “Fair” OR You can have Grace, but you can’t have both!

I admit that I am one that likes for things to be “fair”.  I believe that when you work hard you should make a good wage, and when you study hard you should make a good grade.  I believe that All people no matter their age, gender, or ethnicity should be given equal opportunity.  I always root for the “underdog”, and love to see others “win”.  I love to see the wheels of Justice turn in favor of the “just”, and for those who do evil to get their just punishment.  Yes, I believe that most all of us would admit that we like things in this life to be fair, but what about Grace?  What about when Life isn’t Fair?  If things were always fair, we couldn’t enjoy Grace! “The problem of expecting to live in a perfectly fair world is that there is no grace in that world, for grace is grace only when it is undeserved” ~ Jerry Sittser in A Grace Disguised

Grace by definition is: “the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings”. In February 2014, when my husband was first diagnosed with a terminal disease, my first thought was “this isn’t fair”.  I had known many people who had abused their bodies, and they were healthy.  I knew of many marriages that were miserable, and wouldn’t have cared if their partner would have become sick or died.  I knew many people that didn’t serve, obey, and follow the Lord, and they were happy and healthy!  So, WHY did this have to happen to us?  IT WASN’T FAIR!!  BUT . . .I also knew people who desperately wanted to be parents, and could never have children, while I was blessed with 3 healthy kids.  I knew people who were wonderful Christian parents, and yet their kids were strung out on drugs, or in trouble with the law, while mine all serve and follow Jesus with their whole hearts.  I knew great Christians who fell in love, and desired to have a Godly marriage watch it all fall apart, while I enjoyed an Amazing Marriage to my husband!  IT WASN’T FAIR that I was Blessed with the life that I got to enjoy while others didn’t.  So the question is . . . “Did I really want EVERYTHING to be Fair OR would I prefer the unmerited Favor of God?

God’s Word says in Matthew 5:45 “He (God) causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”  In the last two weeks since my husband’s death I have had countless people tell me how “unfair” it is that Joe died so young when he was such a good man, and I agree IT IS NOT FAIR! God’s Grace is just like the rain and the sun. We don’t get to choose on whom the rain will fall, and we can’t take credit when the sun shines on us.  Though my Grief cuts like a knife at my heart, and my Emotions are Raw with the reality of facing life without Joe; I am so Grateful that God chose to Bless me with His Amazing, Unmerited, Unfathomable, GRACE of sharing my life for 41 years with the “Love of My Life” instead of being Fair!  I may never like when bad things happen to good people, or when evil seems to go unpunished.  BUT . . .Ask me if I would want my life to be “Fair” OR if I would prefer to continue to be lavished with the undeserved, Grace of  God even when it rains, and my answer through gut-wrenching cries has grown to become “THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR AMAZING, GRACE!”

The worship song written by Hillsong called “New Wine” has become the daily prayer of my heart since I have no words beyond the tears of anguish right now. The journey of figuring out what God’s Purpose is for my life in this next chapter alone has just begun.  Though I have nothing but tears right now,  my heart cries out these lyrics in worship to the Lord God that I know will redeem Beauty from my Ashes! The lyrics say: “In the crushing, in the pressing, You are making New Wine.  In the soil I now surrender, You are breaking new ground.  So I yield to You, and to Your careful hand.  When I trust You I don’t need to understand.  Make me Your vessel, Make me an offering, Make me whatever You want me to be.  I came here with nothing, but All You have given me.  Jesus bring new wine out of me.”

To hear the song “New Wine” by Hillsong click here:        https://youtu.be/1ozGKlOzEVc